EXACTLY 2am

tonight is uneventful
i'm waiting for the big nothing
i got butterflies in my gut
they tell me heavy shit
and i know they lie
this confusion
reading old words
inspired to make new ones
make sense
to no one but me
publishing this bullshit
for no one like me to read
in the tiny dark hours
awake when i should sleep
disease is broken
lost to the void
i'm trying easily to make it
where i don't know
but somewhere
out of here
it always comes back to
why bother
i suppose it's all for
yourself
waiting
impatient
waiting
the minutes pass
another hour might come
to waking up alone
in a queens bed
sized for a king
occupied by pauper
free form flowing deep
i know there is no reply
i don't care
i feel better
shouting
out of my window
when no one can hear
or right in your face
it's all the same
everything gets dull
after it's been done
these broken thoughts
together make the puzzle
it all makes sense
to anyone with
decoder rings
polarized glasses
translators
members
where will unconscious
bring me
sexy or brutal dreams
terrors in sleep
insecurity on my t shirt
across my face
tattooed skin
broken expression
i wish someone
could hear this
a broken midnight song
like injured beasts cry
under the moonlight
no one there to care
is there freedom
in the daytime
something i slept through
no one told me about
i'm fucking down
always this way
everyday
tiny hopes of praise
i turn them into pain
bad things
i am my own ghost
haunting
my own soul
but who isn't
in this modern fucking mess
bring the world down
back
to where i can
understand
it always comes back to me
right?
if i was you
i'd not like it
not listen
but
maybe i would
maybe it could all make sense
the cries for help still echo
empty cavernous
dissolve
back into nothing
become nature
become real