Another Late Night

i'm feeling there's no healing
they escape in the dead of night
creep in morbid shadows
they leave the unwanted shit behind
hot humid emotions
fast asleep in the next room
i've blood and dirt on my hands
none of it is mine
none of it matters
it all passes with time
tomorrow the past recedes
and becomes a brand new day
falling weakness into evening
these notes surround me
remind me of what never was
what i'll never be
where i'll never go
i sit and wait for nothing
sweating in my room
the animals want in
pushing on the thin door
outside looking in
so much of what i do
so little of what is known
who or why or when
will any of it make sense
all these ghosts haunt me
awake and in my sleep
i'm loosing and i'm choosing
ready to accept defeat
try and bring it out
so that i can get just
one reply
death letter
lone in a box
the good news
never arrives
i'm sick and tired of waiting
need no validation
so why do i waste my time
i got nothing to do but waste it
i contradict what i know
i hide in the late hours
free in the loneliness
lost in the solitude
the waking sunlight
melts
everything that makes it real
i can never go back
i can never come home
i got nowhere left to live
find me some of this patience
send some shreds to me
learn me how to love them
listen to me scream
it's the only real thing
sober in drunken waste
broken in harmful ways
alone in a crowded place
always just the same